Friday, December 5, 2008

today/tomorrow is the last day of classes this semester

I am up all night writing papers. This is my break.

pacifists should be more likely to believe in hell and judgment than just war people. people who think that it's ok to kill, but also believe in hell, shouldn't be in the business of sending people there. also, it's much easier to be a pacifist if you believe in ultimate justice, because if you are killed unjustly while peacemaking, then you get justice afterwards.

tonight at the store, a man wearing one of those reverend collars was asking me a question about products, and quickly made a point of mentioning his life partner. I got the impression he was fishing for a reaction to a gay clergyman. Anyway, I think I probably kept a straight face.

i think God has told me to employ missional profanity.

love and good manners are not the same thing. i know some very well-mannered people who don't truly give a crap, and people who deeply care but are rough around the edges. i say this because i think yacht people at eastern confuse love with manners, and so when they try to say things "lovingly," they are really just trying to be well-mannered, and frequently end up skirting the issue. i hate feeling pressured to adopt a certain tone of voice or a certain "acceptable" vernacular to be considered "loving." that isn't about love, it's about manners and social conformity, which only serve as masks.

this is the best working definition of "love" that i can come up with right now:

love = deep, authentic concern and action for the good of another, to the point of total self-sacrifice if necessary

today, prof. marshall was talking about how "this present evil age" is like a headache...and Jesus is like advil that we should take. i got really, really pissed off, because Jesus is not a fucking pain reliever. i have love for my uncle in Christ, prof. marshall, and one day he will stand before Jesus and give account for teaching rooms full of Christian-y kids heretical moral american religidolatry bullshit and leading them astray.

is that unloving? i mean i haven't slept in 24 hours, but i still think that, according to my above definition of love, i was so pissed off because i love God, the students, and prof. marshall.

anyway, i am almost done my work!

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